To my dismay, I had to return my FiveFingers after about a week. As it turns out, the size 40s stretched too much, beyond what I expected, and thus my most injured foot started to slide back and forth. It dawned on me that this may be the same reason all my other 'traditional' shoes have failed me after just a few weeks. I got my money back, moped about for a couple of days, then refocused on the task at hand: prepping for my son's 2nd year birthday party and the impending arrival of his grandfather (my father). I resort to my backup shoes, the NB trail running/walking shoes mixed up with some random sport flip-flops that, my surprise, have been second best to the Vibrams. of course, neither shoe is nearly as effective over the long-term as the Vibrams were, so after a few hours, I once again couldn't walk without agonizing pain and a freakish limp. At night, I'd wake up, do the midnight pregnancy pee and return to bed. I yearned for those few nights I could do this like a spritely youth. Each day was more painful than the previous one and I really just couldn't believe that that simple little shoe had so radically changed my legs. I finally broke down and dragged the husband to the sports store and, after agonizing over the cost of these in conjunction with what would be spent on hosting the ultimate shindig in about a week, he forced me to deal with the obvious: either you deal with the pain that has sucked the life out of you these last few years or you bite the bullet and start enjoying life like you did for that one week. Yeah, it wasn't hard to swallow having to shell out $135 for renewing my life. I got the size 39 and the experience in these was slightly different than before.
The threads in the big toe slot caused some callousing/blistering that was obnoxious and I wondered if maybe I'd just lucked out with the 40s and would never again feel so wonderful. The shoe was on the tight side, particularly on the right foot, the one so gravely injured back when. I still had the limp and some pain. I was worried ... did I have to return these too and just deal with a shitty life of leg pain forever because none of these orthos would touch me? Since I had 30d before the return deadline, I toughed it out and, after about 4-5d, I was once again pain free. An encounter with a once-comfortable Birkenstock sandal that caused ankle pain after a simple 20min stroll to, through, and out of a grocery store, reaffirmed my faith that the Vibrams were, in fact, the solution to my ills. I'm so happy being happily mobile again. The hikes with the dogs in the canyon will surely wear them out before they wear me out and I love the thought of that!
Now, if only Vibram would make a nice professional/dress shoe that I can wear to more formal affairs!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Vibram FiveFingers
If you've never heard of barefoot running, this is something that could change your lifestyle forever. I'd seen runners in a nearby town wearing these wacky blue shoes that looked like something a scuba diver/snorkeler would wear before putting on the flippers. They are like gloves for your feet, designed to help keep nasty urban stuff from hurting your feet while at the same time allowing your foot the freedom to re-learn how it is supposed to function. I was skeptical, but I read a lot of reviews and opinion pieces and medical reviews, both good and bad.
First, a little about myself and why this has been such an incredible addition to my shoe closet (one that might actually cause me to toss everything out, in fact). My whole childhood was spent running and playing and I was successful in nearly all the sports I played. I was intense which meant I was injury-prone. In retrospect, I lay blame on the coaches (and partly my parents, but they were no experts) for not emphasizing and incorporating strength and agility training in addition to practices. The list of orthopedic injuries I've suffered is fairly long and includes some intense ones: dislocated knee with torn ACL, MCL, menisci; dislocated ankle, snapped fibula, torn ligaments and tendons that couldn't be repaired; torn rotator cuff; shattered hand bones; broken arm; broken ankle. I was told, at 16, by an ortho that my knee (not the one dislocated 10y later) had about as much cartilage left as a 70 year old ex-Marine. The guy put me on Vioxx for whatever reason but I never noticed much improvement and went off it. Unfortunately, with each injury exercising, much less playing sports, became increasingly difficult and the pounds started showing. The worst of all injuries, the dislocated ankle and snapped fibula, had me in a cast for 6 months and I never recovered from function after that. Ironically, this injury was on the same leg as the knee sans cartilage, so I was doubly screwed. There was some physical therapy, but due to student insurance, I didn't get nearly as much as would have been needed. The ortho surgeon told me, too, that I'd basically have to depend on the developing scar tissue to provided stability and cushioning for the joint. At first I took it in stride, but year after year, I lost more and more mobility, always being told that I'll have to deal with it or I could take X, Y, Z drug. The change in gait caused more knee pain, which caused more lower back pain. I had excruciating sciatica during my first pregnancy. The lack of mobility was killer and I hated not being able to spend time at least walking. And on the pounds came ... and the sadness (no, not depression).
Over the course of the last few years, the only relief I found was buying good shoes every 3-5mo. This gets expensive and on a slave's salary, it wasn't always happening. And worse, the relief I'd feel trying on the shoes would last at most a month. With two dogs and an active toddler, I love going into the canyons or mountains to hike, but I could never predict how long I would last. Some days it could be 30 or more minutes, others I'd be finished after just 10 minutes. Imagine it takes you 20 minutes just to get ready to go and after 10 minutes of walking, you can't go any further because of pain! I was desperate to try anything non-pharmaceutical to change this status quo.
Despite the warnings from some podiatry/ortho sites about not using the FiveFingers without first consulting a doctor, I figured that I'd had enough (again) of doctors and their quackery. I was willing to take the $100+ leap in hopes of change, even though I'd have to rework a very tight budget to allow for this. Before committing to buy, I went to a local store to try them on. This was a bizarre experience because the shoes are so weird to put on. And the first time you do it, you're sure you're doing it wrong and that all that isn't worth the reward. But, stubborn as I am, I tried on two types (KSO and TrekSport) in 3 different sizes. Since these are glove-like, getting the size right is important and I didn't want to screw it up this adventure at the outset. I walked around in the first pair, the size that would eventually be correct, and after three steps my ankle "fell", or slide into place. I stopped, because usually this hurts like hell to take another step, but I went for the next stride ... and felt absolutely fantastic. I didn't believe it, and kept walking around with store employee eyeballs following me (apparently people have sprint out of the store wearing these just to have them). I'm obviously no sprinter, so I don't think they were all that worried. I tried on another size that was too small. Then another that was comfortable, but clearly too big. I was very happy with my new ankle, but knew I'd have to sleep on it. Putting my normally-comfortable Birkenstock sandals felt odd and I felt disconnected from the ground. The next day, at my lunch break, I tried on two different sizes again in the KSO Trek (men's, because women's is too narrow). It was tough, since the 39 felt snug, but what would happen if my ankle/foot swelled? The 40 had longer toes but gave a little more room in the foot. From what I've read, the shoes can stretch a little, but not nearly like conventional shoes. I settled on the 40, took the box, and wandered around the store contemplating this $135 investment. Is this worth it, to set us back that much at a time when we need pretty much every penny we have? What happens if they don't work out? Can I really hike in the desert with these? What if my injuries get worse? What if they get better? I decided to just do it, fork out the money in the hopes of a new life reminiscent of my single digit and early teenage years. As I paid for them, I asked about the return policy and that made it easier to hand over seven $20 bills. As I walked back to the car, I called the husband and told him. I could tell he was nervous about the money spent and skeptical, but, as always, supportive. (Yeah, he's awesome like that.) I was putting on the shoes (trying to) while talking to him, so I could put these bad boys to the test immediately. I had a haircut later in the afternoon, so why not put this to the test now and return the next day if it's a total disaster? I walked around stunned at how amazing it felt to walk on concrete. I felt light, almost like I was floating, not the heavy trudging I felt like I'd been doing the last 10 years, and especially the last 5 years. I didn't want to get too excited, and just kept walking, got the haircut, chatted with everyone about the shoes and went on my merry way. Vibram instructs first time users to slowly break the shoes in by wearing them only 1-2h a day for a few weeks. Well, I'm a rule breaker and wore these the first day for about 5 hours. Yes, it felt weird to have the shoes on, to have fabric between your toes, and walk on hard surfaces feeling like you're barefoot. That night, I was pleased and looking forward to the test the next day ... at the farm where we were new co-op members. Certainly that would be terrain worthy of testing these shoes and my leg's affinity to them.
Saturday morning arrived. Bright and early, my son and I packed up for the hour and a half drive to the high desert. I wore the KSOs to drive and really liked the feeling, and there was no pain. I point that out because some times just driving a shoe will cause knee pain that won't stop for a couple of days or until I give in and take a narcotic pain killer. Being pregnant with our second kid, that's obviously not an option. We get to the farm, with it's pebbly terrain, sticks, hoses, random equipment, and cow poop. I was so nervous that I'd be in such serious pain in a few minutes that I wouldn't be able to safely drive back (yes that's happened before, too). I did have a back up pair of flip-flops (the only ones to have never caused joint pain, so definitely keepers), so that relieved some anxiety. We walked over to the cow pens. So far so good. Felt some rocks, but nothing painful. In fact, it was kind of encouraging to actually feel the ground. Thirty minutes went by, still no pain. An hour, nothing. Could it be? Could it be that after years and dozens of shoes, a simple shoe that forced the foot to be practically barefoot is the answer!? After two hours, I was so happy because the only pain I had was a little bit of friction along the big toe, which I had been prepared for after all my internet research, though I have yet to develop the blisters I've read about. I drove home, meat and milk and tired toddler in the car. This return trip would serve as another test. Sometimes, I'll be able to walk and stand for this same amount of time, but after some time resting, my ankle is so stiff, I walk like I don't have knees and it is so painful to bear weight on that leg. This sort of shit lends itself to a couch potato lifestyle. I called the husband close to his school and asked if he wanted to get lunch so I made the unscheduled stop. Out of the car my legs went, my feet landing on the asphalt ... I lean over to get out and to my surprise there's little prohibitive swelling! No way. Yes way! Again, there was some minimal friction-related pain, but nothing I couldn't deal with. I kept the shoes on to play with our son in the backyard, which is nearly as hazardous as the farm we were at! We have a roughly a 7', 45 degree slope at the back of our yard. I've never been able to scale this thing without some sort of stick or grasping at the grass and scrambling up. So I thought, "what the hell, let's see if these work." Lo and behold, I was scaling like Spiderman. That night, I couldn't shut up about how happy I was that, not only could I do all this stuff, but that as I was lying in bed, I wasn't moaning about the pain I was in or demanding an arnica oil rub down. My husband then says "I've noticed too that your attitude is much better, you're not as pissy." Hahaha, after just one day of wearing these things! I should mention here that I knew my husband for exactly one week before I dislocated my ankle, so for him to say this, really means something (and not just that I've been a total jerk the last 7 years!). Being pregnant means getting up at least a couple times at night. These can be terrible if the ankle has had some bad swelling and I have sometimes felt like just lying in bed, dealing with the embarrassing results of not getting up just to avoid the pain. I've always gotten up, but have not always been able to get back to sleep because of the pain from the swelling and weight-bearing. Saturday night was therefore another test, that was passed with flying colors: only minimal stiffness that was easily managed.
Sunday, bright and early, we went to the canyon with dogs and child in tow. Downhill terrain has been tough in the hiking shoes as my ankle never felt strong and stable. Imagine you have to walk on crutches and one of those crutches is a dead fish ... limp and useless as a crutch. That's pretty much what the ankle is like going downhill on uneven, gravely terrain. The first 50ft out of the parking lot is a steep downhill that I conquered like a pro. We walked at a good pace for 1.5mi, mostly uphill, then back another 1.5mi mostly downhill. It wasn't until we got to the flat parking lot that some bones in my foot cracked as though they repositioned and that hurt like hell. My "healthy" leg was shaking a bit by the end, but it didn't hurt. Nothing did, besides the friction on the toe. Yes there was a bit of stiffness in the ankle, but nothing too bad. We dropped the dogs off, ran a few errands, where normally I would have been on the couch with ice packs and drugs. Since the kid was needing his nap, we went home and we all napped. And what happened after the nap? Nothing, just some sore muscles but those were welcome any time if it meant that my ankle wasn't going to hold me back. Even now, sitting here writing this, 10h after the hike ended, I have tons of mobility/flexibility in the ankle, no knee pain at all. I can only hope this lasts, because this is the happiest I've been, physically, since I was about 10 years old or so. I'm looking forward to many more day hikes and trips to the mountains and hoping that our oldest dog, who is now limping from the long hike because of a hurt shoulder that has bothered her for a while now, can keep up.
In short, while I recognize the importance of medical advice, it is just that: advice. You know your body best and know what does, doesn't, most likely won't work. If you're desperate and have the money to spare, Vibram FiveFinger shoes are definitely worth a try. And no, I'm not paid by them to say that.
First, a little about myself and why this has been such an incredible addition to my shoe closet (one that might actually cause me to toss everything out, in fact). My whole childhood was spent running and playing and I was successful in nearly all the sports I played. I was intense which meant I was injury-prone. In retrospect, I lay blame on the coaches (and partly my parents, but they were no experts) for not emphasizing and incorporating strength and agility training in addition to practices. The list of orthopedic injuries I've suffered is fairly long and includes some intense ones: dislocated knee with torn ACL, MCL, menisci; dislocated ankle, snapped fibula, torn ligaments and tendons that couldn't be repaired; torn rotator cuff; shattered hand bones; broken arm; broken ankle. I was told, at 16, by an ortho that my knee (not the one dislocated 10y later) had about as much cartilage left as a 70 year old ex-Marine. The guy put me on Vioxx for whatever reason but I never noticed much improvement and went off it. Unfortunately, with each injury exercising, much less playing sports, became increasingly difficult and the pounds started showing. The worst of all injuries, the dislocated ankle and snapped fibula, had me in a cast for 6 months and I never recovered from function after that. Ironically, this injury was on the same leg as the knee sans cartilage, so I was doubly screwed. There was some physical therapy, but due to student insurance, I didn't get nearly as much as would have been needed. The ortho surgeon told me, too, that I'd basically have to depend on the developing scar tissue to provided stability and cushioning for the joint. At first I took it in stride, but year after year, I lost more and more mobility, always being told that I'll have to deal with it or I could take X, Y, Z drug. The change in gait caused more knee pain, which caused more lower back pain. I had excruciating sciatica during my first pregnancy. The lack of mobility was killer and I hated not being able to spend time at least walking. And on the pounds came ... and the sadness (no, not depression).
Over the course of the last few years, the only relief I found was buying good shoes every 3-5mo. This gets expensive and on a slave's salary, it wasn't always happening. And worse, the relief I'd feel trying on the shoes would last at most a month. With two dogs and an active toddler, I love going into the canyons or mountains to hike, but I could never predict how long I would last. Some days it could be 30 or more minutes, others I'd be finished after just 10 minutes. Imagine it takes you 20 minutes just to get ready to go and after 10 minutes of walking, you can't go any further because of pain! I was desperate to try anything non-pharmaceutical to change this status quo.
Despite the warnings from some podiatry/ortho sites about not using the FiveFingers without first consulting a doctor, I figured that I'd had enough (again) of doctors and their quackery. I was willing to take the $100+ leap in hopes of change, even though I'd have to rework a very tight budget to allow for this. Before committing to buy, I went to a local store to try them on. This was a bizarre experience because the shoes are so weird to put on. And the first time you do it, you're sure you're doing it wrong and that all that isn't worth the reward. But, stubborn as I am, I tried on two types (KSO and TrekSport) in 3 different sizes. Since these are glove-like, getting the size right is important and I didn't want to screw it up this adventure at the outset. I walked around in the first pair, the size that would eventually be correct, and after three steps my ankle "fell", or slide into place. I stopped, because usually this hurts like hell to take another step, but I went for the next stride ... and felt absolutely fantastic. I didn't believe it, and kept walking around with store employee eyeballs following me (apparently people have sprint out of the store wearing these just to have them). I'm obviously no sprinter, so I don't think they were all that worried. I tried on another size that was too small. Then another that was comfortable, but clearly too big. I was very happy with my new ankle, but knew I'd have to sleep on it. Putting my normally-comfortable Birkenstock sandals felt odd and I felt disconnected from the ground. The next day, at my lunch break, I tried on two different sizes again in the KSO Trek (men's, because women's is too narrow). It was tough, since the 39 felt snug, but what would happen if my ankle/foot swelled? The 40 had longer toes but gave a little more room in the foot. From what I've read, the shoes can stretch a little, but not nearly like conventional shoes. I settled on the 40, took the box, and wandered around the store contemplating this $135 investment. Is this worth it, to set us back that much at a time when we need pretty much every penny we have? What happens if they don't work out? Can I really hike in the desert with these? What if my injuries get worse? What if they get better? I decided to just do it, fork out the money in the hopes of a new life reminiscent of my single digit and early teenage years. As I paid for them, I asked about the return policy and that made it easier to hand over seven $20 bills. As I walked back to the car, I called the husband and told him. I could tell he was nervous about the money spent and skeptical, but, as always, supportive. (Yeah, he's awesome like that.) I was putting on the shoes (trying to) while talking to him, so I could put these bad boys to the test immediately. I had a haircut later in the afternoon, so why not put this to the test now and return the next day if it's a total disaster? I walked around stunned at how amazing it felt to walk on concrete. I felt light, almost like I was floating, not the heavy trudging I felt like I'd been doing the last 10 years, and especially the last 5 years. I didn't want to get too excited, and just kept walking, got the haircut, chatted with everyone about the shoes and went on my merry way. Vibram instructs first time users to slowly break the shoes in by wearing them only 1-2h a day for a few weeks. Well, I'm a rule breaker and wore these the first day for about 5 hours. Yes, it felt weird to have the shoes on, to have fabric between your toes, and walk on hard surfaces feeling like you're barefoot. That night, I was pleased and looking forward to the test the next day ... at the farm where we were new co-op members. Certainly that would be terrain worthy of testing these shoes and my leg's affinity to them.
Saturday morning arrived. Bright and early, my son and I packed up for the hour and a half drive to the high desert. I wore the KSOs to drive and really liked the feeling, and there was no pain. I point that out because some times just driving a shoe will cause knee pain that won't stop for a couple of days or until I give in and take a narcotic pain killer. Being pregnant with our second kid, that's obviously not an option. We get to the farm, with it's pebbly terrain, sticks, hoses, random equipment, and cow poop. I was so nervous that I'd be in such serious pain in a few minutes that I wouldn't be able to safely drive back (yes that's happened before, too). I did have a back up pair of flip-flops (the only ones to have never caused joint pain, so definitely keepers), so that relieved some anxiety. We walked over to the cow pens. So far so good. Felt some rocks, but nothing painful. In fact, it was kind of encouraging to actually feel the ground. Thirty minutes went by, still no pain. An hour, nothing. Could it be? Could it be that after years and dozens of shoes, a simple shoe that forced the foot to be practically barefoot is the answer!? After two hours, I was so happy because the only pain I had was a little bit of friction along the big toe, which I had been prepared for after all my internet research, though I have yet to develop the blisters I've read about. I drove home, meat and milk and tired toddler in the car. This return trip would serve as another test. Sometimes, I'll be able to walk and stand for this same amount of time, but after some time resting, my ankle is so stiff, I walk like I don't have knees and it is so painful to bear weight on that leg. This sort of shit lends itself to a couch potato lifestyle. I called the husband close to his school and asked if he wanted to get lunch so I made the unscheduled stop. Out of the car my legs went, my feet landing on the asphalt ... I lean over to get out and to my surprise there's little prohibitive swelling! No way. Yes way! Again, there was some minimal friction-related pain, but nothing I couldn't deal with. I kept the shoes on to play with our son in the backyard, which is nearly as hazardous as the farm we were at! We have a roughly a 7', 45 degree slope at the back of our yard. I've never been able to scale this thing without some sort of stick or grasping at the grass and scrambling up. So I thought, "what the hell, let's see if these work." Lo and behold, I was scaling like Spiderman. That night, I couldn't shut up about how happy I was that, not only could I do all this stuff, but that as I was lying in bed, I wasn't moaning about the pain I was in or demanding an arnica oil rub down. My husband then says "I've noticed too that your attitude is much better, you're not as pissy." Hahaha, after just one day of wearing these things! I should mention here that I knew my husband for exactly one week before I dislocated my ankle, so for him to say this, really means something (and not just that I've been a total jerk the last 7 years!). Being pregnant means getting up at least a couple times at night. These can be terrible if the ankle has had some bad swelling and I have sometimes felt like just lying in bed, dealing with the embarrassing results of not getting up just to avoid the pain. I've always gotten up, but have not always been able to get back to sleep because of the pain from the swelling and weight-bearing. Saturday night was therefore another test, that was passed with flying colors: only minimal stiffness that was easily managed.
Sunday, bright and early, we went to the canyon with dogs and child in tow. Downhill terrain has been tough in the hiking shoes as my ankle never felt strong and stable. Imagine you have to walk on crutches and one of those crutches is a dead fish ... limp and useless as a crutch. That's pretty much what the ankle is like going downhill on uneven, gravely terrain. The first 50ft out of the parking lot is a steep downhill that I conquered like a pro. We walked at a good pace for 1.5mi, mostly uphill, then back another 1.5mi mostly downhill. It wasn't until we got to the flat parking lot that some bones in my foot cracked as though they repositioned and that hurt like hell. My "healthy" leg was shaking a bit by the end, but it didn't hurt. Nothing did, besides the friction on the toe. Yes there was a bit of stiffness in the ankle, but nothing too bad. We dropped the dogs off, ran a few errands, where normally I would have been on the couch with ice packs and drugs. Since the kid was needing his nap, we went home and we all napped. And what happened after the nap? Nothing, just some sore muscles but those were welcome any time if it meant that my ankle wasn't going to hold me back. Even now, sitting here writing this, 10h after the hike ended, I have tons of mobility/flexibility in the ankle, no knee pain at all. I can only hope this lasts, because this is the happiest I've been, physically, since I was about 10 years old or so. I'm looking forward to many more day hikes and trips to the mountains and hoping that our oldest dog, who is now limping from the long hike because of a hurt shoulder that has bothered her for a while now, can keep up.
In short, while I recognize the importance of medical advice, it is just that: advice. You know your body best and know what does, doesn't, most likely won't work. If you're desperate and have the money to spare, Vibram FiveFinger shoes are definitely worth a try. And no, I'm not paid by them to say that.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The big holiday surprise
We've been a five member family for 21mo now. LB and I have been together going on our seventh year, being married for the last 3 years. I came into the relationship with four-legged B1. A month after our wedding, we took in B2, another four-legged fur baby. Nine months after that, there was something strange afoot. Something about my clockwork was off. Could it be? Indeed, it was! There was much to be done and we were far, far away from family and friends. I was getting ready to finish grad school and go on to postdoctoral work, and LB had to find work in the new city. December came, we moved to the Northwest and had our first kid, NMTB, in March 2009. It was quite the adventure from there on out, including a move back to Southern California because LB couldn't find work and we needed to cut costs, so moving back in to our house was an obvious solution. I found another postdoc job close to the house and we hoped LB would find work given his industry connections down here. He did, but thanks to state budgets being approved and him being the last hired, he was the first fired. So Thanksgiving went by with some down emotions, but still with plenty of hope. December rolled in and we made time for family on the weekends, despite the tremendous demands at work, because without a healthy family, work sucks more than it already does. NMTB's second Christmas, but first in which he participated, was great! He has enjoyed every present he has gotten and we are thankful for wonderful family and friends that make a day like this so memorable and enjoyable. We even took him ice skating thanks to super-discounted tickets from groupon! He loved it, but tired easily, so thank heavens for cheap tickets. We made a trip to the mountains and, although there was little sled-able snow, we had a fun time out. Another hectic, pressure-filled work week rolled in too quickly and rolled out too slowly before NYE.
But something was awry, something was missing. I checked the calendar and indeed, the clockwork was off. This wasn't wholly unusual since NMTB's entry to the world, so I thought little of it. Until another day went by. And another. And another. Lo and behold, on 29. December, I saw a faint little line on the test strip. I called LB over to verify I wasn't nuts or hallucinating. "What? What am I supposed to look for ... Oh, yeah, there's something faint. Does that mean you're ... you're ... you're pregnant?" Off to google I went to check future dates and now we're looking to welcome another little one to the mix in September 2011. (I can only hope it is not 9/11/11.) LB is excited and panicked: excited at having another little kid, panicked because he still doesn't have work and how it's going to be when we have two kids under 3. People manage this all the time and I have tremendous faith that he will land a job in the coming weeks. It's a hunch, a feeling, that it'll pan out sooner rather than later ... and all I can do now is hope that my gut is right. I am excited as well, but worry has set in. I wasn't totally prepared, physically, to be pregnant again so soon. I feel sluggish and stressed about work. My train to the road of post-partum health had been derailed by this on-going stress and anxiety. And I realized on NYE that I have very little memory of what it was that I did during the first pregnancy that made it so seemingly easy and healthy (except for the pain in the ass sciatica and round ligament pain and the PIH that set during the week after NMTB's due date). I feel like I need to go workout, to get better physically and to relieve the stress. But my ankle, especially, is killing me. One week after I met LB, I had such a major ankle dislocation that the orthos couldn't put it back together and said I'd have to depend on the scar tissue to hold it in place. It's been a burden, but has seemingly gotten worse in the last 4-6mo. I've also been terribly exhausted by the lack of sleep, since NMTB has a very dry, hoarse cough going for several weeks now. Although we run the humidifier and the heater, he still sounds pretty bad and wakes us up with bad coughing a few times a night. So I find myself at the computer thinking, "Jeez, what in the world did I do to make sure in utero NMTB was going to be ultra healthy?" Now I'm back at the drawing board, remembering things like whole food prenatals, supplements like folic acid, fish oil, chromium/vanadium, silver, iodine, iron, glucosamine/chondroitin, acv, etc. The problem is, I don't know how good/bad any of these are for pregnancy ... I know FA and FO are ok, I've read that ACV is fine ... but what about iodine and G/C? Am I overloading on iron? I feel breathless a lot, despite the iron supplement and iron-rich foods I'm concentrating on taking in. In other words, I have a lot of research to catch up on, since this was not an explicitly planned pregnancy. But I'm excited and looking forward to finding out what this kid is, what name we will choose, and I can't wait to meet it.
For now, I'm going to try to be vigilante about recording the things I do so that if there's another kid after this one in our future, I'll have a nice reference guide. :)
But something was awry, something was missing. I checked the calendar and indeed, the clockwork was off. This wasn't wholly unusual since NMTB's entry to the world, so I thought little of it. Until another day went by. And another. And another. Lo and behold, on 29. December, I saw a faint little line on the test strip. I called LB over to verify I wasn't nuts or hallucinating. "What? What am I supposed to look for ... Oh, yeah, there's something faint. Does that mean you're ... you're ... you're pregnant?" Off to google I went to check future dates and now we're looking to welcome another little one to the mix in September 2011. (I can only hope it is not 9/11/11.) LB is excited and panicked: excited at having another little kid, panicked because he still doesn't have work and how it's going to be when we have two kids under 3. People manage this all the time and I have tremendous faith that he will land a job in the coming weeks. It's a hunch, a feeling, that it'll pan out sooner rather than later ... and all I can do now is hope that my gut is right. I am excited as well, but worry has set in. I wasn't totally prepared, physically, to be pregnant again so soon. I feel sluggish and stressed about work. My train to the road of post-partum health had been derailed by this on-going stress and anxiety. And I realized on NYE that I have very little memory of what it was that I did during the first pregnancy that made it so seemingly easy and healthy (except for the pain in the ass sciatica and round ligament pain and the PIH that set during the week after NMTB's due date). I feel like I need to go workout, to get better physically and to relieve the stress. But my ankle, especially, is killing me. One week after I met LB, I had such a major ankle dislocation that the orthos couldn't put it back together and said I'd have to depend on the scar tissue to hold it in place. It's been a burden, but has seemingly gotten worse in the last 4-6mo. I've also been terribly exhausted by the lack of sleep, since NMTB has a very dry, hoarse cough going for several weeks now. Although we run the humidifier and the heater, he still sounds pretty bad and wakes us up with bad coughing a few times a night. So I find myself at the computer thinking, "Jeez, what in the world did I do to make sure in utero NMTB was going to be ultra healthy?" Now I'm back at the drawing board, remembering things like whole food prenatals, supplements like folic acid, fish oil, chromium/vanadium, silver, iodine, iron, glucosamine/chondroitin, acv, etc. The problem is, I don't know how good/bad any of these are for pregnancy ... I know FA and FO are ok, I've read that ACV is fine ... but what about iodine and G/C? Am I overloading on iron? I feel breathless a lot, despite the iron supplement and iron-rich foods I'm concentrating on taking in. In other words, I have a lot of research to catch up on, since this was not an explicitly planned pregnancy. But I'm excited and looking forward to finding out what this kid is, what name we will choose, and I can't wait to meet it.
For now, I'm going to try to be vigilante about recording the things I do so that if there's another kid after this one in our future, I'll have a nice reference guide. :)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
One of the best days of my life :D
LB started his Saturday teaching gig again today, 12.30p-11pm. He left this morning at 9 to do recycling, then finally at 11.30 to get to campus. This has pretty much been the most amount of one-on-one time I've had with NMTB, ever! LB has been w/o steady work since 2008 and just recently got a job, pending the pre-employment physical (a military injury might prevent him getting the job, even though the military just denied him increased disability). With me already working FT, this would mean NMTB would end up in daycare. He's so social and all that, only the little things worry me (will he handle the new environment, is the place clean, will they cloth diaper...). I did put in for a new job that is strictly work from home (it's legit) and my stuff is in HR with them. If I get that, I'll take it, because it'll pay ~$10-15K more, which is sorely needed to pay off debts and get us on the road to #2. But today has been such a fantastic day with NMTB that I'm really really jealous of people who can afford to be SAHPs. It's just been so fantastic being with him, seeing how he plays, seeing him learn things the first or second time I show him and the snuggle time :) Ah....
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sunday afternoon with the boys and FIFA
Wow, 4 months since my last post. I guess I'm not that good at keeping the WWW abreast of my life. Well, outside of Facebook ... those privacy-stealing buggers.
Let's see ... what's new...
NMTB is gigantic and consuming more food than we are growing. Not too big of a surprise since we only get 3-4 cherry tomatoes and up to 5 string beans a week. He's off the goat milk and was drinking a local, big dairy's organic milk. One day though we all got really sick and figured out it had to have been that Alta Dena milk. I've had milk allergies since I was young, coming and going depending on the milk quality (i.e., hormones, antibiotics, etc). Let me tell you how much I hate the FDA and their claims that no significant difference in the milk from cows treated with or without rBST/rBGH has been found. I know there is within 12h of consuming the former and would be happy to testify about the minimum 72h lingering aftereffects of that milk. Our local nutrition store, as it turns out, was sued successfully for $10M (that's million) for selling raw milk. Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out. And, unlike our co-op market in Washington, they no longer sell unhomogenized milk in glass bottles since customers found it to be a hassle and weren't returning the bottles. *eye roll* Since we joined a group here that has organized cooperative buying (buying club) for organic produce from a wholesale distributor, I figured I'd ask them if they knew of any local dairies selling their milk straight from the farm. Despite CA's progressive nature, laws here are pretty stringent regarding the sale of milk. Some raw milk farms have gone under due to campaigning by industrial dairies in this area. The only farm-direct source now would be to buy a share of a dairy cow. We're not exactly rolling in the dough these days, what with my meager scientist salary (pitiful) and LB's continued unemployment. To make an already long digressing story short, we found a grocer near the university (not the one I work for) that sells both raw milk AND unhomogenized milk in glass bottles. Jackpot! Sure this stuff is pricey ($7/half-gal and $4/half-gal, respectively), but for the nutrition that hasn't been filtered and cooked out, it is well worth it. LB calls it NMTB's liquid buttah.
Some more good news ... LB finally got work! He'll be an engineering tech for the county. This is great news and really comes at a good time. We're both kind of in a funk, him having not worked in over 1.5y, me in a job that was supposed to be the segue into industry that is totally flopping. I struggle nearly every day with whether I should just tough it out or find something more satisfying that doesn't involve the kind of things I do (i.e., move away from research but stay in science, like education). California isn't exactly the state you want to be in if you want to be a teacher, unfortunately. Anyway, we're on the road to some freedom with his newfound job, even if it means that NTMB has to go into daycare. For now.
Let's see ... what's new...
NMTB is gigantic and consuming more food than we are growing. Not too big of a surprise since we only get 3-4 cherry tomatoes and up to 5 string beans a week. He's off the goat milk and was drinking a local, big dairy's organic milk. One day though we all got really sick and figured out it had to have been that Alta Dena milk. I've had milk allergies since I was young, coming and going depending on the milk quality (i.e., hormones, antibiotics, etc). Let me tell you how much I hate the FDA and their claims that no significant difference in the milk from cows treated with or without rBST/rBGH has been found. I know there is within 12h of consuming the former and would be happy to testify about the minimum 72h lingering aftereffects of that milk. Our local nutrition store, as it turns out, was sued successfully for $10M (that's million) for selling raw milk. Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out. And, unlike our co-op market in Washington, they no longer sell unhomogenized milk in glass bottles since customers found it to be a hassle and weren't returning the bottles. *eye roll* Since we joined a group here that has organized cooperative buying (buying club) for organic produce from a wholesale distributor, I figured I'd ask them if they knew of any local dairies selling their milk straight from the farm. Despite CA's progressive nature, laws here are pretty stringent regarding the sale of milk. Some raw milk farms have gone under due to campaigning by industrial dairies in this area. The only farm-direct source now would be to buy a share of a dairy cow. We're not exactly rolling in the dough these days, what with my meager scientist salary (pitiful) and LB's continued unemployment. To make an already long digressing story short, we found a grocer near the university (not the one I work for) that sells both raw milk AND unhomogenized milk in glass bottles. Jackpot! Sure this stuff is pricey ($7/half-gal and $4/half-gal, respectively), but for the nutrition that hasn't been filtered and cooked out, it is well worth it. LB calls it NMTB's liquid buttah.
Some more good news ... LB finally got work! He'll be an engineering tech for the county. This is great news and really comes at a good time. We're both kind of in a funk, him having not worked in over 1.5y, me in a job that was supposed to be the segue into industry that is totally flopping. I struggle nearly every day with whether I should just tough it out or find something more satisfying that doesn't involve the kind of things I do (i.e., move away from research but stay in science, like education). California isn't exactly the state you want to be in if you want to be a teacher, unfortunately. Anyway, we're on the road to some freedom with his newfound job, even if it means that NTMB has to go into daycare. For now.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tuesday posting
Another random posting...
LB and I have settled in nicely and have a good rhythm for our daily routine. NMTB has grown a ton, is eating a great diversity of foods and runs a round like the wind, chasing the dogs and getting into all sorts of trouble. We've recently found ourselves "lost" on the weekends... we recall all the good times we would have Sunday mornings at church, setting aside that day for being outside, taking the dogs to the park, picking berries while they covered the scents left by other dogs. Hopefully in a few months, NMTB will be able to walk well enough that we won't have to take him in the stroller and then can let the dogs go crazy on our walks in the canyons. Of course, by then, it'll be a million degrees here ... not the most pleasant weather to go hiking. But, maybe that'll open up an avenue to exploring other places :)
LB and I have settled in nicely and have a good rhythm for our daily routine. NMTB has grown a ton, is eating a great diversity of foods and runs a round like the wind, chasing the dogs and getting into all sorts of trouble. We've recently found ourselves "lost" on the weekends... we recall all the good times we would have Sunday mornings at church, setting aside that day for being outside, taking the dogs to the park, picking berries while they covered the scents left by other dogs. Hopefully in a few months, NMTB will be able to walk well enough that we won't have to take him in the stroller and then can let the dogs go crazy on our walks in the canyons. Of course, by then, it'll be a million degrees here ... not the most pleasant weather to go hiking. But, maybe that'll open up an avenue to exploring other places :)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Countdown to a New Decade
Four hours to go until we reached 2010. The kid and the man are both sick, and I'll have to work the weekend. But, on the upside, I'll have some explosively awesome data to show at Monday's meeting. This is pretty much how my life is ... take care of what I can in the home between approximately 6pm and 8am and generate sweet data and make magical images between 8am and 6pm. Of course, these hours vary ... sometimes it's 8am to 10pm that the magic of data acquisition, figure development, grant writing, ideation, etc occurs. Thinking about all this goes on just about 24h a day. I dream this. I drive and do not see the road (my subconscious is clearly responsible for getting me from A to B safely) but instead picture how to improve technically or how to best write the goals of specific aims, I walk the hallways, head down, thinking just how to interpret that data set. The relief I get from this usually comes from cooking or sitting in a playpen with the kid. I do get the occasional chase to race a cow or shoot alien space craft attempting to whisk my Mii away, and I do make time for the family. There's only one chance at this family, at watching the kid grow and to foster my relationship with the man. For grants, data and all that, there's always tomorrow. Sure, according to the German saying "Morgen, morgen, nur nicht Heute, sagen alle faule Leute" (tomorrow, tomorrow, just not today say all the lazy people), I should not delay this work. But I value my growing value and want it to be stronger than anything. This desire for a strong family needs to be balanced with work, naturally, so that I can provide for them by getting a kick ass faculty position in a few years. For now, I'll just be happy with what I've got and say Adieu to 2009 and Ciao to writing any more! Happy New Year!
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