Sum-sum-summertime!

We - the two kids and I - spent 6 weeks of the summer visiting friends and family in the Northeast. It was an incredibly challenging experience, travelling alone with two small kids, one an energetic, sometimes spacey 4 year old and a 21 month old who adores her father to pieces. Well, we all adore him, but she, in particular, is attached to him like crazy to the point where I sometimes feel like she couldn't care less for me. But we went because I wanted a vacation and the kids needed to meet my family. AITB, had yet to meet anyone! It had been 2 years since NMTB last saw my father and it was at his baptism in WA that he last saw anyone else! I hadn't been back to there for more than 36h since, I believe, shortly after my mother died in 2005. Time to visit indeed. 

Packing for 6 weeks for three in an efficient way so as to make checking in at the airport, being in the plane, traveling by trains and cars easy and practical was by far the hardest part. Luckily, I didn't have to travel initially with a travel crib and thankfully I had a double stroller to transport either the kids or the luggage. We stayed in the Baltimore area for two nights at first, visiting with family and friends, checking out the National Zoo with a friend of mine from college who lived locally and getting adjusted to our new way of "out of the suitcase" living. 

National Zoo, Washington DC

It was a hectic 2 day visit, but nonetheless enjoyable. On the third day we took a train to visit some friends in the NJ/NYC area and this is where the packing became most tricky. Because the kids are so little, they still require car seats. Prior to the trip I had researched all the options, including this little number, a seemingly very practical alternative to the bulky car seats I ended up using. The double stroller, a Graco duo glide, was so useful in transporting these seats while still allowing AITB to be shuttled around in the front seat. If I had been able to see the travel car seat vest thingies in person, I might have bought them, but at $135 a piece, I didn't want to risk them being the wrong size or not working as well as they are advertised. I also decided not to take the available travel crib and instead opted to buy a new one once we got to our destination in NJ. So, we piled into the train in Baltimore headed for Newark Airport to get a rental car. Amazingly, the kids took to the train like they had always traveled this way. For AITB, it was her 2nd train ride in her life, having taken a 25h ride from California to Texas at the wee young age of 10 days old. For NMTB, it was his first train ride and he loved it. Within an hour, both of them had fallen asleep on top of each other - quite a hilarious sight!

Nothing makes traveling easier than when your kids fall asleep!

They navigated the airport monorail system with easy, making my job of pushing the car seat-loaded stroller while dragging the wheeled suitcase and carrying the 40L backpack so much easier. For NMTB, this was an exciting time of learning valuable listening and leadership skills as I had put him in charge of being the line leader (with me providing GPS-like directions) and pushing elevator buttons. I realized during this trip, too, just how excellent it is to have 2 kids so close in age because AITB is seeing this remarkably responsible behavior from NMTB and, by the end of the trip, was beginning to model it herself. 

In New Jersey, we got to spend time with my CIA-trained chef/SAHM friend from way back in middle school. It's shocking to me that we haven't seen each other in over 15 years yet somehow it was as though only a year or two had gone by and we miraculously had kids ranging from under to 2 to 10 years old. I'm sure reconnecting on Facebook helped, but still the reunion was easy from my perspective. Her kids were inspiring to NMTB as he hasn't really spent time with kids older than him - actually, his birthday sets up him to usually be stuck with younger kids at school - and it was refreshing to see him develop some independence, even if it came with increased freshness and backtalking. This is where AITB started to develop a better relationship with me, though she did absolutely love the middle brother, who showed her the most gentle, brotherly affection and attention. That our hosts had two dogs was also a great way for the kids to transition to an intensive travel/visiting/touristy schedule, since it gave them something very familiar that they missed a lot throughout the whole trip. On one of the days where the kids and their father went to the shore - yes, the Jersey shore - my friend had NMTB help her make pizza dough from scratch. This was another huge thing for him because he absolutely loves competitive cooking and seems to play shows like Chopped in his head for what seems to be all day long. He's even introduced the theme of the show to his classroom at school while he and friends "compete" in the play kitchen. The pizzas turned out great and was a very memorable thing for him, in particular. 

Learning how to make the dough

His completed pizza

"Hobbits" checking out the lavender garden

Upon the boys' return, we got to spend some time in the community pool. NMTB has, since we first introduced him to a pool when he was 3mo old, had some major issues with water. He loves bathtime, but whenever he'd go into a pool, he'd be scared, clinging to one of us for dear life, then at night waking up screaming as though he'd had a dream he was drowning. Even putting him in formal swim lessons at age 2 didn't solve the issue, so we just avoided pools altogether, to my dismay. Last summer I did take him tubing with the San Antonio Nature Hounds when they had an outing to a local river. I got him a vest and we bought a side-by-side tube. By the end of the day, he was going down the rapids but was still petrified if i let him go, despite the life vest. I'm thankful that I'm a strong swimmer and don't panic if he pushes me underwater, but I worried a great deal that he would never develop a love for or a confidence in water. So, at the local pool in NJ he wore the vest and slowly remembered that he could go deep enough where he didn't touch the ground. Again, my friend's kids were instrumental in a positive peer pressure sort of way, but NMTB was still fearful. AITB was a wreck, freaking out over the sand she had to walk on just to get to our spot, and scared to the point of hyperventilating when i took her into the water. By the end of the NJ visit, she was ok standing in the water, but didn't dare sit or go in without clinging to me. 

Museum of Natural History, NYC

During our time in NJ, we met up with a childhood friend of mine who has a daughter just 2 months younger than AITB. Coincidentally, her younger sister has a daughter 2 weeks younger than AITB and who, by an amazing coincidence, has the same first name as AITB! (After all, how could another kid have the same initials, too ;) ) We met in NYC to visit the Natural History Museum which was an exhausting but very fun trip. The kids were so tired that they fell asleep at the end of the museum visit or shortly after leaving which left us to have a sushi lunch, which was a wonderful luxury for me, especially, since I haven't had the opportunity to have quality sushi since leaving CA. AITB woke up in time to enjoy some miso soup and devour the seaweed garnish and sashimi. It had been a hot and tiring day but another excellent experience under our belts. 

Our trip to NJ ended with a 2 night stay at the shore visiting family and celebrating the high school graduation of my nephew. This was NMTB's first trip to the beach since 2010 and he loved it. The experience at the pool clearly helped him as did the fact that his cousins were totally ok with the ocean waves. AITB, on the other hand, was yet again totally wigging out ... at first. After learning that the sand and beach toys were a welcome alternative she calmed down and was able to take in the water experience with much less stress. The kids each got a shark tooth necklace as their first bit of shore/ocean swag. We enjoyed a great graduation party and time at the beach house with lots of people whom I haven't seen in a very long time and who the kids never met. Our last night there was spent at the boardwalk riding rides and my brother winning NMTB and his cousin each a light up "bubble gun".

Popping wheelies on the Boardwalk

Filling the night sky with bubbles

 I think this is where they realized finally that the essence of the trip was to meet new people, experience new things, have fun, and relax. We drove back to Baltimore to spend a few more days experiencing DC and celebrating 4th of July. We went to the U of M pool on Friday where NMTB was shown this neat "jousting" device that helps kids learn balance in the water. After literally a couple of minutes, he was no longer fearful/clingy in the water and was swimming alone with a vest! That allowed me to focus on AITB and get her accustomed to the near weightlessness sensation. On the 6th, we packed up all of our stuff - the suitcases, backpacks, car seats, travel crib, and stroller - to head to our final destination in CT, again by train. 

Knocked out on the train again.

I finally got kicked off and had to sit on the floor.

We spent 3.5 weeks in Connecticut, in house just a few yards from a private lake that we share with the neighbors. The house itself sits on a quiet dead end road. I have many, many fond memories of swimming and rowing in the lake as well as driving to RI to spend the day at the beach. 

Of course, with the kids' water/swimming issues, I was no longer really looking forward to time in the water and was a bit stressed out over how to spend our days. Of course there were things to do within 30min - 2h away, but that sort of repetitive car travel takes its toll on me and the kids. Plus, I wanted to be back in the lake again after nearly 10y away! Maybe if the kids saw that I had fun and there weren't all those distractions - like the other kids at the pool and the toys at the beach - then maybe they could focus on developing their skills and hone their independence. On our first trip to the lake there was a sight I'd never seen before ... FROGS! Dozens and dozens of freshly developed frogs just sitting at the waters edge! There were humongous tadpoles in the water, too, and frogs still with tails both in and out of the water. 

The entire shoreline had freshly developed frogs hanging out. 

These really scared NMTB and so he relegated himself to always entering the water from the dock. AITB was having none of this water business for a couple of days, but slowly loosened her grip on me each day. We did go to the beach and the kids wore their vests on the first day; each trip after that though we were told they couldn't have vests if the water was too rough and then finally on the last day we were told that they couldn't have vests regardless of the conditions. Inconsistent rules that changed day by day and NMTB was pretty pissed the last day that he couldn't go into the water by himself. Back to CT, we visited a public access beach on another lake where there is a much lower grade to enter the lake, unlike ours which has a short shallow part and then a steep and muddied drop off. Here, AITB developed some independence thanks to the pool noodles I bought, having been inspired by that jousting thing at the UM pool. These are what changed everything for both kids! AITB had clearly wanted to play with NMTB and be independent in the water like he was now. Now she had something that gave her that independence while also helping her develop a sense of balance in the water. Within a day she was swimming by herself with the noodle and by the end of the week she didn't even want the noodle as a support device but rather as a toy, just as NMTB was using his. It was amazing to witness such an amazing physical and psychological/cognitive development! 

A seagull brazenly took his grilled cheese out of his hand and left him, instead, with this badge of honor. 

Castle builder

Our plane ride back home to Texas was exhausting. Initially we were supposed to stay in CT until 8/8, but I changed the flight to 7/30 (thank you Southwest for the no-change fees!) because I felt like the trip had been taking its toll on the kids and they would likely need an extra week of bumming around and adjusting before heading back to school so quickly. This was a great idea, inspired by a conversation with LB about how the kids were acting while in CT, a combination of instability and exhaustion manifesting itself into outright jerkiness by both of them. So, instead of a short flight to BWI and then a 3.5h flight to SA, we took a 2.5h flight to Chicago with a 1.5h layover and then another 2.5h flight to Austin. LB got us a hotel room, set everything up for our arrival after midnight and that was a wonderful thing to come "home" to. The last thing I wanted for the kids was to have to drive 1.5h to get home. After all, they'd likely be so excited to see their father after a long trip without him that they wouldn't sleep and then they'd be ultra-jerky! NMTB has, since birth, had difficulty sleeping and becomes inconsolable for several minutes up to an hour if he wakes up abruptly. Unfortunately, he fell asleep with an hour left in the flight, at about 10.30pm, well after his bedtime, even though AITB fell asleep 15min after takeoff. I had to wake him up after only 40min of sleeping and, of course, he was hysterical. I also had to wake up AITB who had, a few minutes earlier, fallen off her seat while I was asleep. Poor girl! She adjusts very well to being woken up though, thankfully. I got them both off the plane after lots of encouragement (and verification by a quick phone call) that their father was at the gate waiting for them. I put AITB into the front of the stroller, tossed the backpacks and diaper bag in the back seat, had NMTB walking in front of me and, as we exited the jetway, I saw LB's shoes. I asked NMTB, who had mostly gotten himself under emotional control, "Hey, look, who's there?" NMTB walked, then ran, crying so hard at the sight of his father towards LB. AITB, who saw him shortly after NMTB did, waited a few seconds before jumping off the stroller, something she's never done before. She, likewise, started crying. It took a good 5min of them holding and hugging each other for us to leave the gate and collect the bags. The hotel LB got was absolutely wonderful with the most comfortable bedding and mattress ever. We relaxed and had a midnight meal (we hadn't had anything but snacks the whole trip) while watching, as though scripted for a movie, Chopped. NMTB wanted to sleep with LB and AITB, for the first time ever did not want to sleep alone and instead slept with me in the other bed. She did not move all night long! The next day we drove home to SA and the kids were ecstatic to see the dogs again. 

It was a wonderful trip in which I got to visit family and friends and they got to meet my kids. Above all, I got to spend time seeing my kids develop new skills and personalities. Now that we are at home, they are happy to be back in their beds with a less intensive schedule. But I've decided to take advantage of their new-found love of water and get a Y membership. As luck would have it, the pool was closed due to an accident the day before (yikes!), so we checked out the local community pool. It isn't a bad option for a day, but I doubt we're going to get a whole summer membership next year. However, the most amazing thing happened! NMTB went into the water without much hesitation without his vest - he did ask for it, but since LB was able to focus attention on AITB, I figured NMTB needed to experience water without the vest with me helping me instead. In just a few minutes he was swimming several feet at a time, then swam virtually the whole width of the pool, about 45 feet! Then he saw the diving board and started jumping off into 10 feet of water, swimming over the ladder after "tagging" me in the middle of the pool (I waited about 6' from the board in case something happened and to help him to the surface if he needed it). Can you believe it?! From intense fear to jumping into 10' of water! And AITB was steady as a rock, floating, swimming, playing with her vest on. She did try the diving board, but was too afraid to jump, a very prudent move on her part. It was a great day and I look forward to our last week of vacation before they go back to school and I go back to work. I have no regrets about leaving research and going into public service, especially if I get to have summers and experiences like this every year!